Priceless Day

We went on a bike ride in perfect weather.  He led the way to the lake park.  The forget-me-nots are blooming in the grass.  We decided to lie down in them and take our picture.

We were celebrating.  It took us two mornings and an afternoon, but we painted a room. One morning we cleaned the room out. The next we sanded, primed, and taped. In the early afternoon, we painted the room green. I love it.  It will be a nice, happy room for our oldest daughter this summer.

At the lake, we played on the swings, watched boats, and looked for fish.  We saw a few small fish.  He said they are "yellow perch."  One day, perhaps I'll have a fisherson.

Saved by a Community and Bread

When he was a boy, Charles "Chub" Came was sledding down a steep snowy bank toward the north side of Oneida River. The river water was about four feet deep, swift, and turbulent under a thin layer of ice. Charles sped down the hill.  He meant to turn left before the river, but lost control of his sled. He crashed through the ice into the current and was immediately swept beneath it.  From the porch of a hotel overlooking the river, Mr. Charles Kenyon and Mr. J.W. Emmons witnessed the accident. They rushed for the bridge to a small open space of water. Mr. Emmons bravely went out onto the ice, put his face over the hole, and watched for the appearance of the body in case it passed beneath him. When it did, Mr. Emmons reached down, grabbed Chub, and passed him to Mr. Kenyon who took the boy to safety. They resuscitated Chub, but he was suffering from hypothermia. Mrs. Everson, who was baking bread at the time, took hot loaves from the oven and surrounded Chub’s body with them to help revive him.  

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This is my retelling of a true story I found in a little self-published book by Katherine J. Barclay at our local library. It happened in Brewerton more than a hundred years ago. It's amazing how stories like these have helped me feel more connected to this place. Of course all the people in the story have since passed away. Their bones are buried in the nearby Riverside Cemetery.

Another Sign of Spring

"Have you seen the giant spider web in the bathroom?" he asked.

"No," I answered. 

I didn't see it anywhere.  Until this morning.  The sunlight was shining just right or it would have stayed invisible.  Transparently thin lines weave a massive, frightening, layered, intricate...beautiful...web.

"Have you seen the spider?" I asked.

"Not lately," he answered. 

Has it gone out in warmer weather?  I hope so.  I'm going to clean away that web now.

Spring

It finally feels like spring.

Chocolate Frogs

I was in Salt Lake this week and discovered V's Chocolates.  Somehow, my brother's wife has a relative or friend or someone who is a part owner or something of the company.  My brother and his wife bought boxes of these as a thank you gift.  When I saw them, I decided I absolutely had to buy a box to take home to my family. 

We went to the factory but they closed just five minutes before we arrived.  Thankfully, they have a kiosk at Fashion Place Mall.  My family loved them!  I wonder if you can order them on-line?  Probably.

Kale

I was never inclined to buy kale until recently when I learned it's a "super food" as in super healthy.  Before, I associated its name with kelp (seaweed) which I have absolutely no desire to eat.  Kale also seems relatively inexpensive, at least right now. 

Kale is in the cabbage family.  It can be bitter, sort of like strong raw broccoli mixed with strong raw cabbage.  So, blanching it is a good idea.  I wasn't 100% confident about blanching and haven't liked the extra step it takes to remove skins and such (which are usually pretty good for you anyway), but with a flavor issue, I thought it would be worth it. 

After I purchased a massive bunch, I looked up on the Internet to find out how to cook it. The site I found suggests cutting the leaves off the stems with a knife.  I guess the stems are tougher like broccoli stems.  I didn't use a knife and wasn't at all delicate about it and just ripped the leaves off the stems and put them in a strainer.  After washing the leaf pieces, put the kale in boiling water for two minutes.  Then spoon it out into a strainer, and put the kale in a bowl of ice water to quickly cool.  I just used very cold water and that worked perfectly. Then you put the blanched kale on a towel to dry a bit.  Repeat this until all the kale is blanched.  Apparently, the water could later be used as soup stock, but I haven't tried that yet.

I like eating the blanched kale pieces cold.  It's very reminiscent of lettuce.  Even though it looks like it might be rubbery, it isn't.  We put blanched kale on hamburgers once instead of lettuce.  It was fabulous.  You can cook kale with other foods or with a little olive oil, garlic, and red pepper.  You can also put the pieces in single layers on tinfoil or parchment and freeze them.  Then bag them up to be able to quickly cook up later.  I discovered that if you leave them in the bag and squeeze the bag the frozen pieces shatter just like frozen fresh herbs.  I've also heard you can bake kale in the oven and they are sort of like potatoe chips. Last time we ate kale, we ate up the unfrozen, blanched pieces so quickly that I decided not to freeze most of it this time.

Connection

Yesterday, I was talking with someone about how we sometimes smile but don't feel it.  I'm sure there can be a number of reasons.  Sometimes the act of smiling can make us feel better.  Sometimes we hide behind smiles.  I've decided most people experience a lot more suffering than we realize.  In this, we have more in common than we know.  We hide the shame and the problems and the pain because we're afraid people won't get it or don't want to get it or it's just not very uplifting.  It can be hard to empathize.

I've learned that to truly connect with people, we need to let ourselves be vulnerable.  I've learned it, but I'm not at all good at it.  Being vulnerable is being authentic, honest, and open.  That is often socially unacceptable.  Instead, it's easier to close up or close down which ultimately separates people. After a while, the pain of solitude grows too great.  We want connection, so we try to open up again.  

Yesterday, I discovered an expert, a researcher, Brene Brown.  I don't know everything she advocates, so I don't know how much I agree with her, but I just put her book on hold at the library.  Here are some video clips of her that are very interesting.  Brown spent years interviewing people about shame, vulnerability, and empathy.  She puts shame at one end of a spectrum opposite from empathy at the other end.  She says as you go along the line, where there are vulnerable feelings and shame you find disconnection in people.  Where there are vulnerable feelings and empathy you find connection between people.  What I've read and heard of her theories, which she's reached after years of research, is enlightening and helpful.  She says shame is destructive.  Shaming people makes people feel like they can't change.  That's when you tell people they are "bad" instead of telling them they did a bad thing. She talks about "shame resiliency" and how to overcome shame, be vulnerable, and find connection.  It's all very interesting.

Years ago, President Benson, a prophet, shared ideas that relate in this talk.  Instead of using the word "shame," he used the word "pride."  If you were to find other similarities between his words and Brown's, you could use the word "charity" on the other end of the line instead of "empathy."  Perhaps the word "humility" could be another word for "vulnerability," though as it approaches "shame" it would probably change to despair or hopelessness.  The prophet knew what he was talking about.

Once again, it's just a matter of figuring out how to live what I know.  I want to connect with people.