Therapy Walking

My husband and I have helpful conversations on our walks sometimes.  I'm not sure he's getting enough exercise, but it's definitely worth it to me.  This morning, we were talking about achieving big things in life.  We talked about how you have to really want something, to dream, to have vision, to have a passion for something in order to accomplish it. 

I often let fear of failure get in my way. 

I told him, "Some things seem too big, too overwhelming, and difficult."

He said, "But that's not focusing on the white line." 

It was a gentle reminder of a story I tell every once in a while that taught me not to focus on bad things that could happen.  The story:

I failed my driver's license test just before taking a road trip across the United States from Utah to Virginia.  What a confidence shaker.  My grandmother, sister, and I were going to help with my cousin's wedding.  I had a learner's permit and my family felt it would be good for me to practice driving during the long trip; it would also give the other drivers a break.  I was not eager to drive.  My grandmother and sister drove through Utah, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, and most of Iowa.  Most of the roads were broad, even boring.  "Even you could handle this," they said.

Finally, when Grandma and my sister were exhausted, I was willing to take a turn.  I sat behind the wheel just as we were leaving Iowa.  Unfortunately, there was construction and a lot of traffic just minutes after I started driving.  There was also construction on a bridge crossing the Mississippi into Illinois.  The narrow, normally one-way bridge was temporarily converted into a two-way bridge.  There were cones and barriers everywhere.  The traffic was terrible.  Of course there was no shoulder. We were suspended over the Mississippi and it seemed eternally wide.

I panicked.  There was no way we could switch drivers at that point. 

I told my grandma, "I feel like I'm going to hit an oncoming car.  It feels like I'm heading right toward them, like they're going to crash into me." 

"What are you looking at?  Are you looking at the cars?" Grandma said.

"Yes.  And I'm looking at the yellow lines so I don't cross over and hit someone." 

She yelled, "Stop looking at the cars!  Focus on the white line on your side of the bridge." 

I was shaking.  When I looked at the white line, I felt better. We managed to make it across the bridge.  As soon as we could, we switched drivers.  

The lesson my grandmother taught me stayed with me.  When I focused on the potential to crash and the fear of those oncoming cars, I was sure I was going to hit them.  I probably would have hit them.  When I focused on the white lines, on the place I was supposed to be, I stayed far enough away from the oncoming cars.  And I wasn't so afraid.  It doesn't make sense to focus on failure or bad things that might happen. 

This morning, my husband and I also talked about commitment. When you really want to accomplish something difficult, something that takes a lot of time and effort, commitment can get you through.  Persisting in doing hard things gets boring sometimes.  Sometimes you might not even like what you are doing.  But as long as you are committed to it, as long as you keep doing what it takes to achieve something, you'll succeed. 

So, today I'm thinking about the things I'm committed to.  Once I figure that out, I need to focus on what I really want instead of fearing.